you cant have sex in this establishment- part 2
October 18th 2006 12:00
This is the second-last post in a series on places in which you should think twice before you drop your pants.
4) A school or education facility of any kind…….
I really had to rack my brains over this one.
On one hand there is those comfy gym mat things (or the sick bay….you know who you are!) but on the other hand I graduated a long time ago.
The only way I could get back into my old high school gym is by seducing one of the school blazer wearing, chocolate milk drinking hooligans from the bowling alley at Forest Hill Chase.
Although, back in the day, it might have made sex education a little more interesting.
5) Public Toilet
Ok kids, I can see why you might look up to this man.
Sure…back in the 80’s he had sang some really catchy tunes. He is even quite attractive in a isn’t-it-a-shame-I’m-gay kind of way.
But please please please, DO NOT feel that you have to have sex with a homeless man in a public toilet in order to be closer to your idol.
Just buy a few Wham records or something….. ok!?!?! Cos I don’t want to see you in the Hearld Sun
6) Main Road
In some ‘backroad’ truckstop country towns this is a regular Saturday night activity. Maybe if these people replaced sex with something a little more positive, say for example…… flossing, the world might be a better and less crowded place.
That being said, if you’re at some hick party where you are:
a) so drunk on sherry that you feel the need to further the genes of a some complete dropkick bogan that makes Nick Giannopolous look like Cleo’s Bachelor of the year
or
b) so bored that you are willing to go home with Nick Giannopolous in order to have a ready- made excuse to get the hell out of there
stop for a minute and think to yourself (take a few deep breaths if you need to)
…do I really need to stop right here on the side of this road to copulate…..
If the answer is No…. go home and carry out your filthy Nick Gianoppolous one eyebrow fantasy in the privacy of your own bedroom.
If the answer is Yes….. go home and call a counsellor.
Next Blog: Sex on the Internet
4) A school or education facility of any kind…….
I really had to rack my brains over this one.
On one hand there is those comfy gym mat things (or the sick bay….you know who you are!) but on the other hand I graduated a long time ago.
The only way I could get back into my old high school gym is by seducing one of the school blazer wearing, chocolate milk drinking hooligans from the bowling alley at Forest Hill Chase.
Although, back in the day, it might have made sex education a little more interesting.
5) Public Toilet
Ok kids, I can see why you might look up to this man.
Sure…back in the 80’s he had sang some really catchy tunes. He is even quite attractive in a isn’t-it-a-shame-I’m-gay kind of way.
But please please please, DO NOT feel that you have to have sex with a homeless man in a public toilet in order to be closer to your idol.
Just buy a few Wham records or something….. ok!?!?! Cos I don’t want to see you in the Hearld Sun
6) Main Road
In some ‘backroad’ truckstop country towns this is a regular Saturday night activity. Maybe if these people replaced sex with something a little more positive, say for example…… flossing, the world might be a better and less crowded place.
That being said, if you’re at some hick party where you are:
a) so drunk on sherry that you feel the need to further the genes of a some complete dropkick bogan that makes Nick Giannopolous look like Cleo’s Bachelor of the year
or
b) so bored that you are willing to go home with Nick Giannopolous in order to have a ready- made excuse to get the hell out of there
stop for a minute and think to yourself (take a few deep breaths if you need to)
…do I really need to stop right here on the side of this road to copulate…..
If the answer is No…. go home and carry out your filthy Nick Gianoppolous one eyebrow fantasy in the privacy of your own bedroom.
If the answer is Yes….. go home and call a counsellor.
Next Blog: Sex on the Internet
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Chantal
Main road- read above!
Public toilets... I just dont get it?? It seems like the least sexually pleasing environment!